Leaving our expat life in China
Bright lights big city - leaving our life in Shanghai behind
‘You’ll get bored and come back’, my friend Charlotte would say whenever the subject of our imminent move away from Shanghai and back to the UK came up. And I had to admit, I could see a high possibility of her prediction coming true. Life in China as an expat has usually been exciting, comfortable and hassle-free. Nowhere in the world is as convenient as the metropolises of Shanghai and Beijing, with instant delivery services, shops, restaurants and bars open all hours of the day, laid-back expat jobs and a thriving social scene. The UK, in contrast, was quiet. Many people who made the move back to Europe complained of the lack of things to do, with people tending to live in suburbs or smaller towns rather than vibrant city centres as we were used to in Shanghai. Add to this the dreary, cold weather of Northern Europe, and it was easy to see that moving away from China was not a decision guaranteed to end in success.
But in our case, we didn’t have much choice. My contract in China was coming to an end. Turan had loved Shanghai - she told me on our first date that she never wanted to leave - but she was willing to take the leap and go back to the UK with me. She had dreamed of doing a Masters Degree in Europe, so at least she would get the opportunity to do that.
After a long, beautiful summer of freedom, encompassing a bike trip back from China, a lazy two months spent in Turkey and a month exploring the London, the Lake District and Scotland, it was time to start real life in the UK in September 2023. We were about to get a severe wake up call.
The biggest issue we faced was of our own making. I had tried to buy a house in Coventry, the city where Turan would attend university, while we were still out of the country. Predictably, the pictures and video tour we had seen didn’t match up to reality, and faced with a place that would have taken significant time and money that we didn’t have to make it somewhere we would be happy living, we pulled out of the deal on arriving in Coventry. This meant spending the next month moving from AirBnB to AirBnB, living out of a suitcase while trying to get started with my work and Turan’s university course. With Turan also working part-time as well, we had limited opportunity to find a place to stay permanently. It was a tough few weeks, epitomized by Turan’s resilience as she made her way to university each day wearing the same jumper and trousers, with all of our clothes still in storage.
During this period we not only had to ferry ourselves to and from work, but also Dumpling, Turan’s cat. He had arrived on a flight to Paris at the end of September (UK government not allowing pets to be shipped directly from China) and after a 36 hour epic drive from the midlands to pick him up and drive straight back, punctuated only by pet document issues in Calais when, sleep-deprived and at the end of my tether I had for a few horrible moments thought I would be forced to stay in France forever with Dumpling, he had joined us in a cramped AirBnB close to Coventry City Centre. This was due to be the first of many homes for Dumpling, as he was carted around on a daily basis in the beginning, even spending two days living in my car while I was at work. Aside from the fact that the pool car staff were less than enthusiastic about his habitation of the vehicle when they received the car back covered in cat hair, Dumpling was a champion, exploring his surroundings with natural inquisitiveness and patiently waiting for the day we would have a home to call our own.
We finally found a house to rent in Coventry and settled in in late October. But it felt like the trials and tribulations in England would never end. The dark nights drew in quickly, Turan struggled with her university course, I struggled to fit in to working culture in the UK after so many years of being respected whether you earned it or not in China, and everything just felt harder here. After four weeks of endless phone calls to Vodafone, we still didn’t have any internet at home - nothing made me miss the efficiency and speed of China more.
Things did slowly turn around though and despite the wet English winter, we were able to enjoy ourselves more and more. The outdoors are much more accessible in the UK, and Turan was always upbeat whenever we were outside. Even away from the National Parks, weekends spent using the training we were doing for the upcoming Valencia Marathon to explore the local countryside and villages always left us smiling. Trips to Europe helped too, whether that be the reunion with our friends from China in Valencia, trips to Rome, Germany and the Netherlands, or our wedding in Azerbaijan followed by honeymoon hiking in Tuscany. As the anniversary of our arrival in England approached in summer 2024, it felt like things were slowly falling into place. Turan finished her degree, we moved to Leicester and into our own apartment, and started to feel that we were putting down roots. For all of it’s excitement and vibrant lifestyle, it is hard to establish yourself properly in China and ever be seen as more than an expat. In the UK, it felt like we could truly become locals.
Of course, we both still miss so much about China. The bright lights of the big city will always hold an allure that cannot be matched. But what moving all over the world has taught me is that it is not a place that defines enjoyment of life. Instead, it is taking a positive attitude towards the situation and place that you find yourself in, along with the people you meet along the way.
Finding out that travel isn’t always bliss… navigating the alleyways of the Marrakech Medina, with a surpise around every corner.